Introduction
St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582) was a renowned 16th century Spanish Carmelite nun and mystic. She is revered as a great teacher of the spiritual life and contemplative prayer within the Catholic tradition. Along with St. John of the Cross, Teresa reformed the Carmelite Order and founded new convents based on the original Carmelite charism and spirituality.
One of the distinctive features of Teresa’s spiritual teachings is her emphasis on the importance of interpersonal friendship and love of neighbor as essential prerequisites for the life of prayer and mystical contemplation. This represents a significant contribution to Christian spirituality, as the love of God and love of neighbour have always been central pillars, but Teresa gave a particular thrust to the horizontal dimension of love between people.
The Need for Interpersonal Friendship
Teresa’s own writings demonstrate the vital role that friendship and sharing played in her personal life and spiritual journey. She acknowledged that if the Lord had not provided her with companions who practiced prayer, she likely would have fallen into spiritual ruin. Companions nourish the soul, heart, mind and body – just as food nourishes physical life, so too do companions nourish the life of prayer.
Teresa saw companions and friends as a “source of mutual aid” on the journey towards union with God. She advised aspiring pray-ers to seek out the company of others with the same spiritual interests, especially in the initial stages of the prayer life. Having someone to talk to about the joys and trials of prayer was enormously helpful, as it provided support, instruction and accountability.
Teresa feared the “great evil” of being alone and friendless amidst the dangers the world poses for those seeking God. She believed that those striving for holiness need the support and encouragement of one another as “shields” against criticism and temptation. No one, she asserted, goes to heaven alone – the presence of brothers and sisters is a presumed conclusion.
Types of Love
Recognizing the centrality of love in human relationships and the spiritual life, Teresa carefully distinguished between different types of love.
The ideal form of love, according to Teresa, was spiritual love. This love is purely oriented towards the spiritual good of the other person, free from selfish motives or sensual elements. It is a selfless, dispassionate love that desires the beloved’s progress in holiness above all else. This love frees the will and heart, making the person responsive to God’s will.
Interpersonal Friendship as a Prerequisite for Mystical Contemplation
For Teresa, the genuine, self-sacrificing love of neighbour was the surest sign of true love of God and the ability to reach the heights of mystical union. She was convinced that anyone who fails in love of neighbour has also failed in their relationship with God.
The love of neighbour is the ultimate test of spiritual maturity. Teresa taught that even the greatest spiritual experiences and ecstasies are meaningless if they do not translate into concrete acts of service and self-giving for others. Conformity to God’s will is manifested in responding to the needs of one’s neighbour.
Teresa’s vision of the ideal Carmelite community was one of deep interpersonal friendship and mutual support – a “little school of Christ”, a “castle of Christians”, and a “cozy little dwelling corner for God.” She restricted the number of nuns in each convent to around 13, in order to foster stronger bonds of sisterly love.
The atmosphere of love and friendship within the community was seen by Teresa as essential preparation for the life of prayer and mystical contemplation. She dedicated several chapters in her writings to analyzing the importance of love of neighbor, considering it a primary prerequisite before even beginning to discuss the practice of mental prayer.
Teresa understood contemplative prayer itself to be an interpersonal relationship – “nothing but friendly intercourse, and frequent solitary converse, with Him who we know, loves us.” Community life was both a means and an expression of this intimate relationship with God.
Conclusion
For Teresa of Avila, the call to holiness and mystical union with God could not be separated from the call to genuine, self-giving love of one’s neighbor. Interpersonal friendship and relationships of spiritual love were indispensable elements in her vision of the spiritual life.
Teresa recognized the inherently social and relational nature of the human person. She understood that our happiness, learning, and development all depend on healthy interpersonal bonds. This essential truth applied equally, if not more so, to the life of prayer and contemplation.
By integrating the vertical and horizontal dimensions of love – love of God and love of neighbor – Teresa presented a profoundly holistic spirituality. Her teachings challenged the notion that one could pursue an exclusively God-centered path, neglecting the relational aspect. True union with the divine must be manifested in concrete acts of love towards others.
Teresa’s reform of the Carmelite Order aimed to create communities that embodied this balance – places of deep friendship, mutual support, and self-sacrificing love, oriented toward intimate communion with God through contemplative prayer. Her vision continues to inspire and guide those seeking the heights of the spiritual life today.
St. Teresa of Avila
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